Blogger’s Diary- To Ladies Who Fall For “Our Wife” Syndrome

OUR WIFE! I hate that phrase.Unless you put a damn ring on my finger,you and your friends are not allowed to call me that……Many ladies have fallen for that cheap phrase, turned to cooks, housemaids and sex slaves just because some cunning man and his friends refer to her as “Our wife”.

Yesterday, I watched in disgust as friends of a man I know is getting married next month,called a lady he just met our wife.She was blushing from ear to ear as we sat for dinner..This girl would cook,clean,wash plates,have sex with him just because she feels she is the ‘wife”
I couldn’t bear it .I told him straight up.If he didn’t pay for his deceit,his daughter would someday.Not a curse,just Karma…………..

I know a lot of ladies who have fallen victim to this deceitful phrase.As a matter of fact,I almost did last year ..Hell yeah! I almost…..
I was so looking forward to meeting him.I hadn’t been in a relationship for a while and he looked like the right man.Right job, comfortable,handsome and sounded intelligent.After a few dates, he realized I was still reluctant to visit his house .

Emeh ,why won’t you visit me?I love you.I want to be with you.I want you to know the home of your future husband.

My head was reeling…I loved to be flattered and coming from him,it was cool.However, with the recent spade of ritual killings, I had to be double sure and put some measures in place .

1.I had to invite a friend
2.I had to ensure I alerted my younger ones and a few people where I was going to be and give them a picture of my date.
3.I had to casually let him know my people knew I was going to be with him.

With all that in place ,I agreed to visit his Lekki home on a Saturday .I told him heads up,I was going to invite a friend .He reluctantly agreed.

Driving through his neighborhood, my friend was like

Damn.This guy must be rich.You got a good catch and to think he is single.

Yes oh, he says he is single..Probably has a few call-ins but that can be handled ..(I replied)

I had done my facebook,twitter and instagram checks..He had no sign of a girlfriend,no ‘aww my love”comment under his pictures..

On getting to his gate, I called and lo he was expecting me.He told the security guard to let us in.It was a block of service apartments..Cool place..

He welcomed me from the car ,even took my handbag while exchanging pleasantries with my friend …
For a brief second, I thought I felt his gaze settle on my friend’s big boobs..Oh well! Shrug.
We got in to his apartment and lo! We were confronted with 4 guys ,making noise, playing games gisting.

Ooops! First turn off…
Then he said

Guys ..guys..She is here..

They all turned to face us and chorused

OUR WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Our wife?wow…I was blushing again..

Ha..Dare this our wife is fine oh..One said rushing to shake my hand

O boy! Dare you are the man.No wonder you haven’t been able to sleep.She is perfect.When are we going to see her parents..

As soon as she agrees,He smiled coyly .

Please who is the gorgeous angel beside our wife? A third said while gazing at my friend lustfully .

They beckoned on  us to have a seat..

Sitting in their midst, they just kept talking and showering praises on me as their new wife…

Oh our wife ,we can’t wait .Do you know he is so inlove with you? He has never introduced a girl to us.bla blabla..

I was getting dizzy.Something didn’t seem right .It looked too mechanical ,the friends too happy,like they were trying so hard to make me believe he loved me..

Then one asked .Are you on instagram? I replied in the affirmative..We exchanged instagram handles I took the opportunity of going through his page…I could see pictures of him and a lady all over..She was his wife and they had a baby.

Decent guy,I thought to myself.He is married.flaunts his wife…My kind of man.

Then suddenly, his phone rings.He picks it up.

Baby where are you? You here? Ok ok..I am coming out now to pick you..Love ya love ya..Kiss kiss..

Wow…His wife is even coming here ..
He was like guys,she don show.Behave..

2 minutes later, he appears with a stunning lady..His friends including my date chorused the same thing ..

OUR WIFEEEEEEEEE…..welcome They said the exact words used on me when I first came in..bla bla..looking hot ..

He grined with pride and winked at them..I was shocked.This was not the same wife on his instagram page..Or maybe she had changed..I double checked…No..His wife was dark skinned,This lady was very light in complexion.I noticed she was carrying shopping bags..He didn’t even bother to take it from her.

Baby you know where the kitchen is right?

She smiled .

Ofcourse bae.She disappeared into the kitchen.

I was restless.My friend noticed but I masked my shock with a smile.I am in staunch believer in the saying “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are”

Then my date came to my side..

Wifey , please can you and your fiend just keep Tomi company in the kitchen?

Company ? I retorted

Noo..I mean like help us so we can eat.She bought the ingredients for stew .

My right mind wanted to say n**ga you crazy…I should come to your house and start cooking on the first date ?

The other part of me thought,well I am not cooking.Let me just go and know more about ”our second wife”I beckoned at my friend and we joined the new girl in the kitchen..

Then we saw she bought everything from egusi,okro,meat,beans and more.She was struggling to separate the items.She looked so engrossed and happy .

Are you cooking all these ? I asked her

Yes dear ,I am .

Wow..Your husband is lucky.

Noooo..He is not my husband but I know he wants to marry me .This is my second week here.We just met .

Your second week here? He lives here?

Yes he does.He shares this apartment with Dare

Oh wow! That was new.Dare told me he lived alone..I thought to myself .
So,he wants to marry you? I repeated .

Yes,she said with a cynical look.Can’t you see his friends already call me our wife? She said blushing.

I smiled..Looking back at his instagram page with smiling pictures of his real wife ..
I passed the phone to my friend saying “See the message Tess just sent me”

My confused friend took the phone,mopping sheepishly when it hit her .I was showing her the guy’s instagram page..Her mouth hung wide open .She looked at me in horror and back at the poor girl cooking.
She gathered herself together and I knew I had made a mistake .My friend had no chill and was blunt to a fault .

Darling…Can you stop that stupid cooking you are doing ?

The girl was shocked and confused.

You are no wife,this man is a married man and you are here wasting your time.Cooking food for him,his irresponsible friends.

She was shocked .What do you mean?

Well,unless you are the woman in these pictures.She said thrusting the phone in her hands..

This girl took it, and was shocked.Noo..This can’t be.His instagram account doesn’t have ..

Ladies…hope the cooking is going well.Your boys are starving ..Dare my date suddenly appeared at the kitchen door ..

My friend wanted to say something ..I nudged her

Yes yes..It is going well indeed.

Thanks wifey.He said and disappeared

When he left, we were silent for a second.Then tears started streaming down her face .
She then used her phone to show us an instagram account with his photos on it.There was no sign of a lady .Just him.That was the account he used to chat her up with.She told us how he told her to buy food stuff on her way,promising to return the money to her .Oh..I imagine..He was going to make her cook and have sex with her .Then give her money she spent on buying the food.All in the guise of the word “Our wife”.

Well, it was clear.These boys were professional players .It was time to leave .
She then said she was going to confront him.

No.I said harshly.Don’t be foolish .You don’t confront men like this alone, in their house.Do you know they could over power us, rape us or do whatever because their plan hasn’t worked ?

I don’t know about you but I and my friend are out of here..Nicely of course.If you want to leave without him suspecting .Tell him you want to buy some major ingredients and he should give you money for it .Then I will offer to take you to the market since it’s far.My friend will come along with means that”s bye to these suckers..They would wait up for the food,call you ,call me and then feel free to ignore or tell him a piece of your mind .
The money he gives you to buy the ingredients should compensate you for the food items you bought.

We smiled at my idea..5 minutes later, “their wives” were safely out of the gate ..Decided to go chill at an icecream palour ..30 minutes later, as expected ,my phone rang..”Wifey..Where are you guys?

Oh just a little traffic here..Almost there..The other married player called and she said the same thing..
Their patience was tested .One hour later  the ‘our wife ‘had disappeared from their conversations.It was now plain anger ”

What is the meaning of this.I just saw the food items thrown in the bin.Where are you guys.We are starving here.

“Oh lol..I didn’t even know she threw the food in the bin.Gangsta girl..
I told him…

Our husbands..Wifeys decided to go some where and chill,sipping on ice cream and laughing at how stupid you married men can be..Calling us “Our wives” when you have wives at home.Renting bachelor pads to deceive ladies ..

He paused..How did you know I’m married ..
Ooops..It was my turn to pause.I didn’t even know he too was married .
I ended the call in shock.

What’s it?My friend asked..

The Mfuka is also married.. Oh well..That was good riddance ..And since then anytime I hear a prospective suitor’s friend refer to me as “Our wife”…I just give them this meme below..

Xoxo
Emeh Achanga